A Night at the Opera

I went with friends to see Doctor Atomic at the Metropolitan Opera a couple weeks ago and I really, really didn't like it. My problem was that neither the story/libretto nor the music captivated my attention. So it was three and a half hours of zoning out.

I've liked other music by John Adams, of the lush, repepetitive, tonal, minimal style, and so I blindly went in expecting more of the same, but this was actually an atonal opera. It sounded boring to me, as if they just needed to come up with another note to sing the next word on, without there being any rhyme or reason. I recognize that all music does not have to be purely tonal, but this music just didn't captivate me in any kind of way.

I saw an atonal opera at the Met a couple years ago, American Tragedy by Tobias Picker, and likewise wasn't a big fan of the music, but at least that story kept me plugged in and enjoying the experience.

In theory, the story of Doctor Atomic had great potential. It's about the creators of the atomic bomb in the 1940s, during the month leading up to the first test of the bomb in New Mexico. They both feared and hotly anticipated the test, not knowing if it would fail with a whimper, erroneously destroy the whole planet, or work successfully. What a weighty subject.

However, the libretto didn't bring it all together in the amazing way that it could have. Instead, we had a bunch of people onstage arguing with each other about testing the bomb, interjected with seemingly unrelated painfully long monologues by the male and female counterparts of a couple waxing rhapsodically about love. So then I started to think maybe there was a love story in there too, though I could not for the life of me tell the point of all their rhapsodizing or how it related to the rest of the plot. But no, the Playbill explained those songs are just a married couple "pondering love, life, war, and peace" in the most boring way possible, furthering the plot not one bit. No character development. Nothing.

There were lots of other things about the story that were unclear to me until I read the Playbill at intermission. Maybe it was a mistake to not read the Playbill before watching the opera. Maybe this is just a problem with most opera. But come on - I'm reading the text line by line from a little screen in front of my seat. I shouldn't have to also read a plot summary to know what the fuck is going on. You don't have to read a plot summary while watching a movie or a play - the whole point of the theater is that the action should explain itself to you as it goes along. Am I right?

I only liked one part, the massive Bhagavad Gita choir towards the end. The text "Oh shape stupendous" seems particularly relevant as they wait for the giant bomb to drop, as does the power of the music.

Then when the bomb detonated at the opera's finale, a giant sound emanated out of the speaker behind me that was so loud and went on so long that I felt queasily claustrophobic as if the low reverberating sound was smothering me there in our steep, cramped seats, as if the sound might cause the walls to crack and the building to collapse and tilt and me to go tumbling all the way down. And I'm only 23! How must all of the old people (the majority of opera goers) have felt!? Isn't that a health hazard? Yes, it was making a point about the terror and immense power of the atom bomb, and maybe I'm a wimp, but still.....it could have been 20 seconds shorter.

So the point of the story is - while I will accept atonal music, I don't particularly like it. And just because it's an opera doesn't give you an excuse to not tell a story well.

Wedding Inspiration Board: Pink and Blue Birds

Don't worry, I'm not the one getting married. One of my oldest friends, Elaine, just got engaged, and I thought it would be fun to try to put together an inspiration board for her, inspired by all the pretty pictures over at Snippet & Ink. I felt a theme of pale pinks and blues with sweet lovebirds would be fitting for Elaine, my petite, kind,and funny friend. I wanted to show that even though she's probably going to have a fall wedding, the decor doesn't have to be the staid orange and red and brown route that so many fall flower arrangements and events seem to go.

Click the photo for a full size image



1. Birds Nest decor, via Once Wed
2. Hairpiece, by the Tijusai Etsy shop
3. Ring pillow, designed by Debbie Notis, photo by Corbin Gurkin via Once Wed
4. Invitation, by The Paper Door Etsy shop
5. Pink champagne, photo by Joel Flory via Snippet & Ink
6. Cupcakes with bird toppers, from Maple Sugar via Snippet and Ink
7. Designate the bride and groom's seats with pretty ribbon, photo by Billy Winters via Snippet & Ink
8. Mason jars with big pink flowers, photo by Heather Forsythe via Snippet & Ink
9. Blue shirts for the men, photo by Jose Villa via Snippet & Ink
10. Fall foliage, via Once Wed
11. Necklace, by Lisa Leonard
12. Guests can drop kind notes into this birdcage, photo by Allison Garrett via Snippet & Ink
13. Seating cards photo by Still Weddings, via Snippet & Ink
14. Ribbon wands for guests to wave during the ceremony, from Blogger Brides
15. Flowers arranged in rustic pitchers (though the peonies would have to be replaced by another pink flower more in season for the fall), from Peonies and Polaroids
16. Pink bridesmaid dresses, by Ann Taylor Loft, photo by Sandra Coan via The Knot
17. Table number cards by eeBoo
18. Flowy feminine wedding dress, by Kim Grayz via Snippet & Ink
19. Cake by Rebecca Thuss
20. Simple table settings with pink and blue ribbon wrapped around napkins, from Peonies and Polaroids
21. Vintage blue vases with single buds, styled by Molly FitzSimons via Snippet & Ink
22. A bouquet of white, pink, and blue wildflowers, from Martha Stewart Weddings

We Did It!

via mindseyecards on etsy
A little after 11 last night I was fiddling around in my kitchen to make a grilled cheese sandwich for election-viewing-snacking, when I heard an eruption of screams from the bar next door, and I knew the good news before I even had a chance to turn on the TV and see it for myself. I almost didn't think it would happen, after the last two elections ended in disappointment, but we did it, we beat the greedy Republicans! Standing in line for over an hour to vote was all worth it.

EDIT: I thought I heard a helicopter or plane just circling and circling loudly last night! Chrysanthe has the scoop - apparently police were in riot gear on Bedford too trying to control the crowds.

Kids in Our Hearts

Lisa is really picking up the slack for my lazy posting. Here's another post from her, reflecting on her past, and future, living with goats.


My two sisters and I grew up on a small hobby goat farm in upstate NY, drinking the milk, eating my mom's simple homeade goat cheese, and milking, birthing, and playing with a bunch of does and kids (mothers and babies). Each was named by my mother or one of us from a list of our favorite flowers: there was Petunia, Iris, Daisy, Edelweiss, Magnolia, Lilac, and then Sparky when I got to name one. As we all got older, the goats somehow phased out of our lives. Pictured above is the lone remaining goat, Aurora, who is just a pet who looks pretty by the barn, and isn't milked.


Yesterday, while searching webrings for local cow and goat farms, sentimentality hit me hard, and I realized how much I missed that life and how jealous I felt every time I'd arrive at the next website of a cute, small goat farm somewhere in Florida.

For some ineffable reason, I've been feeling incredibly driven to this sort of farming - I've thought about working at produce farms and worked at a cow dairy farm, but never really felt any strong feelings for them. So this is the plan for my life: that I will someday in the future have a goat farm (although definitely not in Florida), give them all flower names (unless it's my mischeivous daughter's turn) and (probably illegally) sell the small amount of milk and cheese just to my friends and family and to Julia if she owns a bar in Brooklyn or upstate somewhere someday. Working towards this today, I hope to spend get back to Brazil (where I studied abroad in college) for some time WWOOFing on a goat dairy in Brazil during my upcoming grad school years.


Additional commentary from Julia
Hmm, I'm not sure I can sell "illegal" goat cheese at a bar. I think that might violate health codes somehow. And yes, one of my dreams to open a bar. More on that another day.

APLS: What affluence means to me

In another excuse to procrastinate from packing, I'm going to blog some more. There is this new blog carnival called ALPS: Affluent Persons Living Sustainably. I missed the boat on their first monthly roundup, but here goes for their September question, which is really me ranting about my issues with money.

Affluence. What do you think of the term? Does it apply to you? Do you dislike the word? Feel uncomfortable with it? Are there certain responsibilities that come with accepting that term?

I'm not sure if I would define myself as affluent. Affluence is all relative. I could be considered affluent in comparison to others, but when one further looks up the scale, I could look poor and miserly. Growing up, it always felt like we scrimped and saved, and those values have stayed with me my whole life. I'm obsessed with saving, I'm guessing because my parents are too. My mom still shops at places like Kohl's for clothes (kind of like a smaller slightly classier Walmart) even though she doesn't need to anymore. I realize now that my parents must have more money than we did when I was little, so I can reasonably classify our family as upper middle class. Putting three kids through college, owning a second home - those things take money. I didn't have any student loans to pay off when I got out of college two years ago, and during college I didn't think anything of it, but now I know I am very lucky, because it has really put me ahead. I'm able to save money, unlike my friends who are just making ends meet by slaving away to pay their loans every month.

I tend not to think of myself as rich. I work in the nonprofit sector. I can probably expect it to take me at least a few years to reach the salary range that is Jesse's salary now after he received a raise six months into his first job. I don't really ever expect to reach the 100k salary bracket, not on my own.

But, all of my saving means that I have more money saved than anyone else I know my age - except for those trust fund kids or others with built in life savings care of their parents - I don't even want to imagine how much they have. It's nice, having this cushion of money that means I can take a vacation if I want, or buy a friend dinner if I want, or not have to worry about the recent expenses associated with moving, etc. But I also have decisions to make. Like yesterday - I went out to buy sheets, and I had the choice between cheap regular cotton sheets or to pay more for supposedly sustainable, nontoxic, nonpesticide sheets. But those sheets weren't even organic (the store didn't even carry organic), and I questioned how green they really were. And I really didn't want to pay the higher price. Because even though I can, I don't want to. I want more money in the bank, because it means I will be able to buy my own apartment/house all the faster. Now I realize I should have done research first, and went to a store that I knew would have reasonably priced sheets. I feel guilty. I think, I'm not as green as I think I am. But at this point, I have to sleep on a new bed tonight and I need sheets now and I don't have time to go poking around hellish big box stores throughout this city.

So even though I don't spend money on typical girlie things like clothes and body products, what I do spend it on is food. Now, I think I spend a lot of money on food, because I spend about $340-400 per month, which includes about $20-35/week at the farmers market, about $90 per month at Fairway for bulk groceries, other small grocery trips, eating out, and just things like buying a bagel on the street. Every month I try to make that number go down, but that range has been pretty steady for the past year or so, and I know it's accurate because I religiously track all of my spending. And that's just for one person - Jesse probably spends another $300 something on his share of our food and his own lunches and diners out. And $700 for two people is a lot! I know theoretically two people should be able to feed themselves on much less. But we are in New York City, one of the most expensive places on the planet. I'd be curious to hear how much others spend on food.

Then, I read Jen's recent post on Last Night's Dinner revealing how much her and her husband spend on food. I've always marveled at her blog, which I browse for inspiration. She takes stunning photographs of beautifully crafted meals, made with fresh, local ingredients, seemingly restaurant quality. It turns out they most recently spent $100/week at the farmers market and another $100/week at Whole Foods! And I'm sure that does not include miscellaneous bites out to eat and so on. No wonder I've always felt like I can't keep up in the goal to make beautiful meals like hers every night. From time to time, she remarks on how she feels privileged and lucky that she has the money to eat quality food. I totally agree that it is good to spend money on food, which is something that nourishes and feeds our bodies and souls, and I am lucky that I can spend as much as I do, even if I am not lucky enough to have as much money to spend as Jen. I think realizing that you are in a place of privilege is a mark of affluence. I see so many poor children in this city eating McDonald's or chips or candy on the subway, their little bodies puffed out unbelievably, wishing there was something I could do to help them.

I also think we take our cues on who is rich based on how people choose to use their money. Because I like to save money instead of spending it, I know I do not look rich. I wear clothes over and over until they're disheveled and torn, and then I still wear them. I feel so much more comfortable in Brooklyn, where people wear whatever relaxed outfits they want with windblown hair, than I do in Manhattan, where I feel awkward everytime I go out to a bar, among preppy kids with their perfectly styled hair and make up and pricey dresses.

Then there is Jesse, who comes from a neighborhood where everyone. is. rich. I have seriously never experienced that before. My hometown is a mixed bag. But when we drive through his town, every single house looks two times as big as it needs to be. It truly baffles me. It's really hard for me to understand that people have that much money in the first place and it's hard for me to understand how they choose to spend it. Once when we went out with his friends from home, we pointed out to each other that I was wearing $11 boots from Payless whereas those girls were probably wearing $300 designer boots. I can definitively say they are affluent.

When I think about what I would do if I had a lot of money, here are my ideas: Maybe I would buy a nice apartment in Brooklyn with a pretty grassy yard. Or I would buy a house in the country. Or maybe I would buy a tiny second home in the woods or on a rural beach. Or I would buy a B&B in the country and run an eco-friendly B&B for work. Or I would open up a bar decorated with flea market found furniture and a garden in the back serving only Northeast craft beers and NY state wine. Or I would travel more. Or I would invest in real estate and not be an evil landlord. I would give to charities that really need it - health and environmental causes - not gifts so that cultural organizations can all try to outcompete each other for the biggest baddest hundred million dollar building while people are starving and all that rebuilding is destroying the planet. Among these ideas are prime examples of how you need money to make money. I think I would love to open a B&B, but first I would need the money. And how do you get that money? By staying on the treadmill of 9-5 cubicle jobs, paying my dues, plugging along and saving money, like I'm doing. That's the plan.